What do you do with a dead Chinaman?

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

We very nearly had to find an answer to that question a couple of days ago following an incident on our drive up to the city of Anschun.

We were travelling comfortably up a toll road when we noticed the traffic in the lane we were in veering rapidly into the left hand lane. As we got closer we could see a bundle on the road that looked as though it might have dropped off a truck or something.

As we got closer to the chaos it became very obvious the bundle was human. Judging by the metal scythe still attached to his belt he looked like a rice farmer. No one was attending to him, there was just a mad scramble of cars trying to force their way at speed through the gap between the farmer and the car that had obviously hit him which was parked in the speed lane.

About 100 metres further up the road there was a dead baby water buffalo that we worked out later must have belonged to the farmer and strayed on to the road. We assumed the farmer went to rescue it.

As we passed I saw the car’s front windscreen had the very distinctive impression that a human head makes when it connects with it at speed. I’ve seen it before. There was no doubt in my mind the farmer should be dead.

There was some initial hesitation about whether we should get involved but the answer was obvious pretty quickly as Barry stopped and we pulled up about 500 metres past the scene. If the poor bloody water buffalo wasn’t dead initially it certainly was when Alan had to reverse over it due to oncoming traffic to get back to the scene.

While nothing was said by anyone the fact I’m medically trained meant it was obvious who had to make the necessary decisions to deal with the poor fellow until real help arrived.

I had no equipment to do anything with. I was basically as useless as the group which had gathered around him. I really expected him to be dead, so I didn’t think much would need to be done other than drag him off the road to defuse the potentially serious situation of uncaring drivers trying to get past him as quickly as possible.

As I got closer it was obvious he wasn’t dead. His head was twitching and when I felt for his pulse it was surprisingly strong. He was deeply unconscious though.

Ok, what the f#%k do I do now?

Moving him risked causing further spinal cord damage or puncturing a lung from a broken rib. I couldn’t even pretend to show that I knew what I was doing by putting him in the recovery position. The bugger had pretty much landed perfectly in the correct position.

I stood up to consider my options when blessedly in the distance I saw an ambulance’s flashing light coming up the road about a kilometre away. Never been so pleased to see a flashing blue light in my entire life.

The ambos arrived quickly, got out and had puzzled looks on their faces about why there were five foreigners standing around this guy (and by then no-one else!) They basically picked him up top and tail and threw him on a stretcher with complete disregard for any injuries he may have suffered and took off, leaving us relieved but speechless.

It seems life holds little value in this place.

The Deprivations of China

How many times have you rhetorically asked yourself in the last 20 years or so “How did we ever survive without Google or Facebook or Gmail?” Come to China and find out! All three sites are blocked by the Chinese government and it’s impossible to use them. There are alternatives, but they require a working understanding of written Mandarin.

My main sources of communication with friends back in Australia was going to be email (gmail) and Facebook, which no one believed I was capable of using such was my open disdain for it.

So no-one has heard from me since we left Thailand. (Laos has no wifi where we went).

I’m certain there are dark mutterings under the breaths of friends and family confirming in their minds about what a selfish incompetent technophobe I am, no doubt reinforcing a lot of hidden beliefs (LOL).

I really tried guys…

Perhaps those who are following this blog could inform the rest about the truth of the situation. If they really want to know what I am up to it will all be here one way or the other…

For All the Beans in China

Being deprived of communication is one thing I can live with, but being deprived of coffee is quite simply beyond the pale.

No bastard here drinks the stuff so no bastard here sells the stuff!

Someone said they saw a Starbucks here, but I think they were hallucinating from caffeine withdrawal.

It is simply impossible to get a coffee from a shop, restaurant or hotel.

When this country does get a taste for the stuff, as they have with wine, some lucky bugger is going to quite literally become a trillionaire.

The best substitute I have found is 250ml cans of  iced coffee, sold only in service stations.
Our car fridge is loaded with the stuff.

I’ll cover some of the good stuff about this place next blog entry. The problem may be finding the time. These last two blogs have taken over two hours to write. It’s been rare to get that sort of time on this trip. There is a great deal to tell you about this wonderful fascinating country.